The Neighbor’s Son
Remember back then when we were young and most of us thought we would break our virginity during our wedding night? Was that your initial plan? I’m sure growing up, that was every lady’s dream. To hold on to their virginity until the right prince comes along. Get married to the prince and then do the sin on your marriage night. Ironically, every young boy wanted to break his as soon as possible and at the slightest chance available. Leaves you wondering who they would have done it with..Ehe.
As ironic as those boys who go around lying and sleeping around with every girl in the village but would cause a storm if the they found their sister had a boyfriend. They threaten and bully and even fight. Can’t blame them though, I usually have the same feeling every time my younger sisters mention their boyfriends he he. Murder. Pure cold murder. It’s very hard to trust a young hormone raging teenager or just over teenage years boy next your kid sister without very dangerous images flying through your head.
Anyway, This whole obsession with virginity begun when some” inspiration speech” talkers came to our class back when I was in class four. (Oh the horrors that kids of nowadays have to undergo! I’m sure my father never had a visitor coming to their school while they were in lower primary to talk about things they had not the slightest idea about)
The girls and boys were separated, each to their own room. the speakers talked about everything and anything that would have affected young girls of that age. We were then given a small card that had the image of the Bible on it, with the Muslims given a card that had the Quran’s image on it. It had a blank space for filling in your name, age, blah blah blah. Beneath all that was a paragraph that had an oath.
An oath of purity. That I, so and so, shall remain pure until the night of my wedding. That nothing shall deter me from this mission at whatever costs.
So help me God.
Surprisingly, the boys were not given those cards. (????)
As I grew up in primary school, I treasured that card so much and I kept it in a safe place in my room. Every day I would look at it and renew my vow. It really kept me going, fast forward to those high school days when every girl had an experience to share after the school holidays. As talkative as I was, a noisemaker to boot and generally one of the schools troublemaker, when it came to matters between the, err, legs, I knew nothing. Blank. And so I would sit and lean forward eagerly as I listened to their stories. Occasionally I would throw in a few lines I thought were cool and romantic, or nod wisely like I knew what they were talking about.
I gave up trying to tell them I had never done it. What was the use when even my best friend never believed me and thought I was lying?
After fourth form, I begun wondering if there was something wrong with me. Some of my friends were already pregnant. I would look at my card at night and smile. Proud but not sure anymore.
Heck I tried. God knows I tried. When it finally happened, three years later, I wondered what the fuss was all about. It was nothing like what I had dreamed about. Candle lights, slow music and that the guy would do it nice and real slow. I was disgusted and I hated it. It was bad and painful and an experience I would want to put at the back of my mind forever.
Fast forward 2013 and ladies are now buying virginity soaps. Everywhere in supermarkets you would see them arranged in shelves, all colors and designs. Back when I used to work in a hospital I remember this lady who came along for a pelvic scan. Young pretty thing. There was quite some queue so after a while the two of us hit off on a friendly note. Not before long she had begun telling me of her experience. Her friend had introduced her to the virginity soap. Hers was of a different type though. Bought from a Chinese shop as a herbal soap, in powder form.
She would keep on repeating the line, “najua hii ndio imeniletea hii shida mpaka sasa sina raha. Kila siku nikubleed Tu.
So what happened?
She was given very elaborate instructions on how to use the powder. Immediately after yourshower in the morning, place a TINY amount between your thumb and index finger and apply it on your private area. End of story. This lady now, wanted to be tighter than tight eh. So she scooped almost half a handful and put it there. She repeated the procedure at night.
Do you really, want me to tell you what happened from there?
Here is what happened. Not even a thing the size of rice grain could pass through. She was stuck in the bathroom wondering what the heck to do, as her boyfriend kept calling at her to hurry up from the bedroom. When she finally emerged, she tried hard to ignore the pain but it overcame her. She screamed and screamed and the neighbors came knocking thinking the guy was beating her. Picture the friction, the pain and the dryness. Trust me; it’s not something I would wish on my worst enemy.
I shook my head as I listened to the young girl’s story, wondering where to place it.
Ladies, stop trying to please a man. Enjoy life’s small trappings and don’t try too hard to make someone happy. If he wants to leave, nothing shall keep him. And vice versa. Stop trying to enlarge your dicks, men.
If you break it, don’t use virginity soaps.
U want a natural solution? Use warm water and a sprinkle of salt. You’ll love it.
Oh, and exercise. It works you know.
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