The Neighbor’s Son
1. The balloon dress.
There is a reason this piece of clothing is called a balloon dress!! And I suspect it’s mainly because it creates the impression that one is wearing a balloon!! These dresses usually tend to expand at the hem and are mostly baggy. Big ladies please avoid this type of clothing unless you want to end up looking as weird as that mama in flavio’s video of shake it, or whatever the song is called. You know, that mama who stands out in an orange dress. She probably isn’t half as big as that dress makes her look.
The balloon dress should be avoided like a plague. It’s a disaster that only super thin girls can pull off.
This has probably been sung over and over again but I never understand why big girls don’t get it. A lot of girls have been called names cos of this piece and yet they still stuck on them. Oh, you look like a rolled smoky, they said. You look like one big ball of minced meat, others chided. To make matters worse, the tights cut your stomach into many sections, creating an impression of one having more than two stomachs.
The problem with tights is that they hug your thighs mercilessly therefore showing all your hills and valleys. They don’t spare your cellulite either. At the end of the day you end up looking like a very confused fellow who doesn’t understand her body well.
3. Hot pant
Please, I’m on my knees. Abeg, if you weigh more than 90kgs, avoid the hot pant at all costs. Accept your body and move on swiftly by dressing it appropriately. Beyonce, Kelly Rowland and company can pull off such looks. But you never get to see queen latiffa, Oprah winfrey, Adele and such in a hot pant. Unless of course, you look like Vera sidika; big booty and a flat tummy.
Don’t try this, even at home.
4. crop top( tumbo cut)
If after wearing that katumbo cut your stomach is out and bouncing, don’t get out of the house with it. People might end up calling 999 to report a madwoman roaming in the streets. Coz that is how you’ll end up looking like in their eyes. Pliz do not be disillusioned. If you want to rock this piece, do your 100 sit-ups, press ups and squats every morning. Don’t forget to cut on the fries and pizzas too. After two-three months you can go ahead and even think of putting it on. The word there is think…..
This goes out to all those ladies who have a big potty too.
5. Huge fashion belts.
What is the use of wearing a big belt if it’s only going to be swallowed somewhere in the midriff and not be visible? As much as belts are used to make a fashion statement, they can also make one appear ridiculous.
Use them appropriately.
Have a lovely day, wont you??
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